Scared of dogs? How I beat my fear of dogs through hypnotherapy
After years of fear, hypnotherapy has been the biggest game-changer of all
"He's not going to hurt you," my fellow train passenger told me, barely glancing up from her phone to utter the same phrase I'd heard a hundred times before. In front of her, a huge German Shepherd lounged across the aisle, leaving me paralysed with fear and unable to muster the courage to walk past. Owing to her disapproving tone, I decided to forego the coffee I was on my way to buy and quickly sought safety in another carriage - feeling mad at myself the entire time for being such a wimp…
As someone with a lifelong phobia of dogs, by the age of 24, the above scenario had become a pretty regular occurrence. I'd grown accustomed to strangers brushing me off in exactly the same way (see also: "He's really gentle" or "She's just playing"), and I'd inadvertently adapted my whole life around this deep-rooted fear. Countryside walks and parks were something I avoided, and certain friends' dog-occupied homes were permanently on my no-go list. When people mentioned that holiday destinations like Pompeii were filled with stray dogs, I even made a mental note not to visit. And when I'd spot a dog approaching in public (something I'd evolved my own personal radar to detect at lightening speed), I'd intuitively cross the road or change tube carriage.
They might seem like small-ish sacrifices, yes, but the reality was I'd been spending years held back by fear – and enough was enough. I'd previously tried an Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) session over Zoom, but it hadn't got me very far, so I'd continued by trying to avoid confronting the problem altogether. I knew it was time to change, and after seeing a friend overcome her phobia of both birds and dogs via hypnotherapy, I immediately needed to know more.
She introduced me to Christopher Paul Jones, a leading phobia specialist also known as the 'breakthrough expert'. Jones' Integrated Change System uses techniques from a range of different therapies, and he offers cures for everything from animal-related anxieties to flying to public speaking and problems socialising.
Sitting down in Jones' Harley Street office, the above train incident was one of many I chose to delve back into, and at the start of the session, one of the first things he asked me to do was to teach him (a dog lover) how to be afraid of canines. I'd always found the fear difficult to understand myself, though Jones had explained during our clarity call (an introductory chat where he gets to know more about your problem) that phobias are not created logically; therefore they can't be undone logically with something like CBT. For example, after hearing the old "He's not going to hurt you", I knew most of the tiny dogs I saw in the street were unlikely to actually jump, bite or scratch... But that didn't stop my pulse from going through the roof at the sight of something as small as a chihuahua.
Instead, Jones' process deals with the subconscious, rewiring long-held beliefs and emotional connections in the brain (usually stemming from a childhood event). On top of believing that dogs are just plain scary, Jones helped me to understand that some of my ingrained beliefs about animals were actually linked to other fears and anxieties about unpredictability and a lack of control. It made sense. I realised that my fear wasn't to do with actually being bitten or hurt by a dog, but of their unpredictability and alienness to me altogether.
As I worked to reframe my subconscious beliefs, I mentally headed back into a series of memories – the worst moments from my forever fear. At the same time, I took part in various exercises; I'd zoom out on my memories in different ways, for example flying high above, seeing them in black and white, sped up or slowed down, or even with clown music or my favourite comedian's narration over the top (Jack Whitehall if you're wondering). At one point, deep in a distant childhood memory, I even cried.
Elsewhere, I thought about the new positive beliefs I wanted to replace my old ones with. Things like "even when there are dogs, I can be happy and calm", mentally repeating them, or having Jones do so out loud, while I completed different eye movements and tapping exercises. I'd also follow a pointer or light with my eyes while recalling a certain memory, then tap whilst I honed in on where the feeling of fear was sat in my body, feeding back on what I was noticing mentally and physically each time. Jones also had me think about positive memories, times when I've felt really safe, happy or loved. I blended these positive feelings and memories into thoughts about dogs through more of the same repetitive movements, essentially rewiring my emotional association with them.
Crucially, I was able to understand that my fear was literally made up of a bunch of different thoughts, feelings, memories and beliefs. That it wasn't hard-wired into my DNA. And that it could be changed.
At the end of our first session, Jones told me I might have dreams about dogs that night and sure enough, I did. For somebody who doesn't usually remember dreams, I had an incredibly vivid one walking down a road in my hometown surrounded by dozens of scary dogs. Also present were their owners, people I hadn't seen or thought of since childhood, but whom I'd always associated with their particularly scary pets. Clearly, my subconscious was hard at work.
So, time to test. Had I actually made any progress? The next day, I pushed myself to spend time with my friend's dogs, which I'd so far consistently avoided. I found myself able to stroke them, sit on the sofa next to them, and even hold their leads for a walk in the street - all things I never thought I'd be able to do previously. Of course, I was still a bit nervous, but I found myself much happier and calmer being in a room with dogs than I ever had been before and I was able to focus on having a conversation and feel relaxed without constantly being on high alert. More than just feeling less afraid, I actually started to see them as sweet rather than scary, something my friends and family couldn't believe (rest assured I took lots of videos for evidence).
Afterwards, I was keen to keep testing myself and have since been on various park missions with the goal of stroking and saying hi to strange dogs, even stumbling upon a Shiba Inu gathering in Hyde Park. Friends have commented on how much calmer I am whenever we head out for a park stroll, compared with their previous experiences of me darting all over the place in fear.
I've made an effort to keep venturing closer to dogs whenever I see them in the street or on the tube, rather than following my usual instinct which was to avoid at all costs. It's a small thing, but it feels totally revolutionary for me. After two sessions with Jones, I'm now set on testing myself in the real world - and it's comforting to know I can always go back if I want to improve even more (hey, maybe I'll even become a pet owner myself one day).
This newly discovered determination to keep building on my progress is liberating. I've browsed Borrow My Doggy and have been in touch with local dog owners on Facebook, and I'm currently making an arrangement to regularly hang out with an East London-based pug. What's more, holiday destinations that are known for having stray dogs are officially allowed on my travel list for the first time. Honestly, it feels like a new lease of life – and a dog-friendly one at that.
Christopher Paul Jones is a Harley Street Specialist in providing help for fears, phobias, and anxiety. You can visit christopherpauljones.com or follow him on social media for guidance and tips.
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"He's not going to hurt you," my fellow train passenger told me, barely glancing up from her phone to utter the same phrase I'd heard a hundred times before. In front of her, a huge German Shepherd lounged across the aisle, leaving me paralysed with fear and unable to muster the courage to walk past. Owing to her disapproving tone, I decided to forego the coffee I was on my way to buy and quickly sought safety in another carriage - feeling mad at myself the entire time for being such a wimp… Christopher Paul Jones is a Harley Street Specialist in providing help for fears, phobias, and anxiety. You can visit christopherpauljones.com or follow him on social media for guidance and tips.